What happens when drinking is so deeply woven into your family history that sobriety seems impossible? Peggy, a 28-year military veteran, faced this challenge growing up in a rural fishing town where alcohol was simply an unquestioned way of life. During the pandemic, she hit a personal low point, hiding her habit and rushing home early just to drink alone until passing out. For Peggy, figuring out how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks meant confronting generations of normalized alcohol use. Her turning point came unexpectedly through a Facebook ad for This Naked Mind’s 5-day masterclass, sparking a journey that would transform her relationship with alcohol forever.

Where It All Started

Growing up in a rural Nova Scotia fishing town, alcohol was simply a way of life. No one questioned it – people worked hard, and they drank hard. My father had a severe drinking problem. My mother worked constantly because she couldn’t depend on him, leaving me essentially growing up alone despite having five siblings. I started drinking as a teen, and it just became normal – what everyone did.

For the longest time, I didn’t think I had a problem. I functioned well, had a successful 28-year military career, and could “party like a rock star.” But deep down, I knew something wasn’t right. I’ve known for a very long time that I had an issue with alcohol. Two of my brothers abuse alcohol, and my oldest brother would have as well if my sister-in-law hadn’t convinced him drinking wasn’t a good idea.

During my military career, I found myself in precarious situations that could have derailed my life if a greater power hadn’t been looking over me. But I kept drinking because I could still go to work and perform my duties well. What would be the point of admitting I might have a problem when I was functioning?

Finding Yourself When Everyone Around You Drinks

When COVID hit, drinking alone at home became a dangerous habit. I sat alone and drank until I passed out. In those moments, I started to remind myself of my brother who has completely let alcohol rule his life, and that scared me. I was embarrassed about how many times I was going to the liquor store and how many empty bottles were in my recycling.

One thing I cannot tolerate is a sneak, and that’s what I was becoming. I was hiding, going home early just so I could drink. My life had become a vicious cycle: drink to sleep, wake up, work, drink, sleep. The liquor stores were deemed essential during lockdown, so alcohol and I became even more intimate than before.

I reached out to my sister and close friends, telling them I thought I was drinking too much. Their response? “Well, you’re going to work, so there’s obviously no problem.” But sitting alone drinking a quart every few days didn’t feel normal to me.

Learning how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks meant I had to stop looking for validation from others. The people around me couldn’t understand why I would quit if I didn’t have an obvious “problem.” They couldn’t see the internal struggle I was facing.

Breaking Free From Family Drinking Patterns

I stumbled upon This Naked Mind through a Facebook offer for a free 5-day masterclass. That changed everything for me. I attended the masterclass and then signed up for the PATH program. I listened to the podcast and connected with fellow program members, doing my content religiously.

All of the resources I used helped me dig into myself in a way I never had before. I discovered so much about myself and learned that I’m not broken. The most powerful realization? I had the answers inside me all along.

Before finding This Naked Mind, I didn’t think I had many options. In the military, especially at my rank as a Chief Warrant Officer with high security clearance, I couldn’t admit to having a drinking problem without risking my career. I couldn’t go to AA – despite the “anonymous” in the title, when you live in small communities and everyone knows everyone, it’s impossible to be vulnerable without potentially blowing up your life.

What I’ve learned about how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks is that you have to make the decision for yourself. Nothing else will work. I tried moderation at first – having just one glass of wine with dinner. But then I’d rush home because there was more wine waiting for me there.

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Would you love to experience the life-changing shift that Peggy experienced in just 5 days? Join our next Control Alcohol Challenge and see for yourself how to find peace in your relationship with alcohol!

Embracing a Sober Life in a Drinking Culture

Making the decision to stop completely was the most freeing feeling in the world. I call it “duck mode” – letting whatever cravings I had roll off my back like water off a duck’s back. I’d just put up my hand and say, “No, I don’t want to.” I finally stopped battling myself and making deals like “I’ll only drink on weekends” or “just one glass.”

That decision was the hardest part of learning how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks. But once I made it? Absolute freedom.

Since becoming alcohol-free in May 2023, I’ve navigated social situations I never thought I could handle sober. Every year, my two closest girlfriends and I get together, and drinking was always central to those gatherings. I was terrified – what if they didn’t like me sober? What if I didn’t like them sober?

But I made it through 12 days without drinking a drop. I discovered that my beliefs about needing alcohol to have fun or connect with others were completely false. What was harder was dealing with other people’s discomfort – like my friend’s husband who couldn’t understand why I’d quit if I “didn’t have a problem.”

Life After Alcohol

People get defensive when you stop drinking. They immediately assume you had a problem or that you’re judging them for continuing to drink. I always tell them, “You do you. It has nothing to do with me.” Because my decision to stop drinking wasn’t about anyone else – it was entirely for me.

Now, I still have vodka in my freezer for guests. I can look at it and feel nothing – no temptation, no desire. If there’s no desire, there’s no temptation. It’s like oxen getting the yoke taken off and being free – that’s how not drinking feels to me.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be: “Put the drink down. You don’t have to prove you can drink like them to be accepted. You are worthy of love and you are enough.”

Share Your Story

Did you learn how to stop drinking when everyone in your family drinks? Did you get there through our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

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