What would you do if the one thing you relied on to feel normal started making your life fall apart? For Stephanie, using alcohol to treat anxiety felt like the solution at first—but it quickly turned into a bigger problem. From blacking out during family vacations to causing her husband’s injury during a drunken night, alcohol had taken over her life. Then a friend handed her This Naked Mind, and everything shifted. With its tools and support, she found a way to manage her anxiety without drinking and discovered a life she never thought possible.

Using Alcohol to Treat Anxiety: Stephanie’s Story

Growing up, alcohol didn’t play a significant role in my childhood. Sure, it was there—on TV and in social settings—but it was just something adults did to unwind or have fun. My real encounter with alcohol started at 13, around the same time I tried cigarettes and marijuana. Alcohol didn’t suit me at first; I got violently ill every time I drank. Marijuana became my go-to substance until I turned 21, but alcohol never really left the picture.

Discovering Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism

The first time I drank, even though it made me sick, it felt like a relief. I believed the consequences were worth it and thought I just needed to get better at drinking. By 13, I was already dealing with anxiety, though I didn’t have a name for it back then. My mind was constantly racing with worries about achieving, being perfect, and staying on top as an A-student.

I’d lie awake at night, overwhelmed by thoughts of what could go wrong the next day. My anxiety was isolating and exhausting. Alcohol and other substances silenced those worries temporarily. It felt like a tool that could fix what was wrong with me—my overthinking, my introversion, and my inability to feel at ease in social situations. Using alcohol to treat anxiety became my way of numbing those feelings and trying to be someone others would accept.

By my mid-teens, I started associating alcohol with relief. I thought it helped me be more outgoing, less awkward, and more likable. I spent the next 20 years trying to master drinking, setting up rules for myself about what, when, and how I’d drink. It worked, sometimes, but it always led back to the same miserable place.

When Alcohol Became a Problem

Looking back, I now realize alcohol was a problem from the very beginning because I had given it a job—to fix my flaws. At the time, though, it felt normal. Drinking with friends, doing foolish things, and laughing about it afterward was just what we did. It’s how I made friends and even bonded with my parents over wine tastings.

Things escalated when I moved to San Diego for college. I attended a private religious school with strict no-drinking policies. My anxiety spiked in this unfamiliar environment, and I resorted to sneaking drinks to cope. I got caught a few times and ended up on the school’s strike list. But instead of stopping, I just became better at hiding my drinking. By then, blackouts and hangovers were a natural part of my life.

After I got married and had my first baby, I started noticing how much alcohol was negatively affecting my life. Not drinking during my pregnancy and the early months of motherhood felt incredible. I didn’t want to go back to my old habits, but when I returned to work, the anxiety of leaving my baby all day pushed me right back to the only tool I knew: alcohol.

The Breaking Point

By late 2019, I started experiencing embarrassing drinking-related incidents. These weren’t new—I’d been through cycles of guilt, shame, and apologies before. But now, I had a baby, and my actions felt inexcusable.

One incident stands out vividly. A friend gave me the book This Naked Mind, which I took on a family trip to Hawaii with the intention of reading instead of drinking. But instead of reading, I broke every drinking rule I had set for myself. I caused a massive blackout scene in front of the kids, and my husband ended up breaking his knee during the chaos. That night, I seriously considered swimming into the ocean and not coming back.

The next day, as I pushed my husband through the airport in a wheelchair, I knew something had to change. I didn’t know how, but I couldn’t keep living this way.

How I Tried to Control My Drinking

This dilemma wasn’t a new thing for me. Over the years, I created countless rules around drinking to control it: no day-drinking, no hard liquor, always eating before drinking, limiting wine to one bottle in the house, and only drinking every other day. These rules worked temporarily but always fell apart. Using alcohol to treat anxiety was like putting a Band-Aid on a deep wound—it might cover things up for a while, but it never addressed the root problem.

Finding Hope and Help

A friend’s recommendation of This Naked Mind turned out to be life-changing. The book gave me knowledge and perspective I had never considered before. It wasn’t just about willpower; it was about understanding my relationship with alcohol on a deeper level. I also discovered The Alcohol Experiment and Annie Grace’s podcast, which gave me hope by sharing stories of people who had broken free from alcohol.

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Are you ready to stop using alcohol to treat anxiety? Download the first 40 pages of This Naked Mind for free and find your freedom now!

Joining a group led by a Certified This Naked Mind coach connected me with a supportive community. These programs helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that change was possible. They provided the tools I needed to transform my life.

Life Without Alcohol

Today, my life is amazing. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s a feeling of peace and gratitude that I carry with me every day. I don’t think about drinking anymore; it’s just not a part of my life. Instead, I’ve rediscovered passions and interests that alcohol had overshadowed for so long.

My relationships are stronger, especially the one I have with myself. My husband and I are closer than ever, which is essential as we navigate life with our four kids. I’ve also been able to help others on their journeys, coaching them toward healthier, more fulfilling lives.

I’m excited about the future. I’m growing into my most authentic self, aligned with my values and intentions. Using alcohol to treat anxiety is no longer my reality; I’ve found freedom, connection, and a sense of purpose that alcohol could never provide.

What I Would Tell My Younger Self

If I could go back, I’d tell 13-year-old me, “You are perfect just the way you are.” I’d also remind her that there’s always room to grow and learn, and that alcohol isn’t the answer.

For anyone reading this who’s stuck in the cycle of using alcohol to treat anxiety, know this: there’s hope. You don’t have to rely on alcohol to feel whole, to be accepted, or to manage life’s challenges. Freedom is possible, and it’s waiting for you on the other side.

Share Your Story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program at This Naked Mind help you stop using alcohol to treat anxiety? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!